Hold the applause puleeze, I'm just gettin' started

Once upon a time in a land far, far away when I was say 30 pounds lighter, thousands upon thousands of dollars less in debt and able to drink like six more beers in a night than I can now (don’t get me wrong, I still puked them up the next morning), a silly college in the Northeast actually let me wax poet with my own column. I wrote about everything from my love affair with Diet Pepsi (DP for short) to more serious topics such as abortion rights vs. its use for birth control. I even got a little taste of fame.

I remember going to a party (God only knows whose) at a brownstone on Beacon Hill and overhearing a couple of fellow co-eds talking about MY COLUMN. Of course, I introduced myself and let them bask in my coolness. They said, “You’re Simply Read?” Only they pronounced “read” like present tense, rather than past or red, which is how I meant it, playing off my reddish-auburn hair and that really bad 80s’ band (I never claimed to be a genius). I corrected them, of course, with a smile, pushing my curls behind me ear with one hand and holding a keg beer in the other. They were down right giddy. “I LOVE your column,” one of them said, only more like Luhh-uve. “I read it every week.” It was amazing in a city as big as Boston I stumbled upon my only two fans. Of course I did a lot of stumbling in those days.

So, I got to thinking the other day and came up with a brilliant, though, far from original idea of starting my own blog. Why not join the millions of other boneheads who think someone actually wants to read what they write and/or actually cares what they have to say? Frankly, I don’t even care if I’m talking to myself. I do it enough anyway, just ask my husband who artfully tunes me out on a regular basis. (Just kidding, Honey. I know you’d NEVER do that.) I know this is no column but dammit I still have a lot to say. Ask anyone who knows me. The other reason is I love to write and some crazy company actually pays me to do so but there are far too many restraints to write what I want to write about and how I want to write it. Oh, and perhaps the most important reason is that I’ve got a lot of crap swirling in this tiny brain of mine that seems to stop me up daily. I’m hoping this exercise in writing will be a cathartic one.

In the spirit of always living in my past, I’m calling my blog Simply Re(a)d. Though my hair has darkened over the years (Simply Brown just really doesn’t work) I thought I’d try the same name but I’m hoping the parentheses are the key to the correct pronunciation.

This is an opportunity to use my creative license, at least the permit, and talk about things I care about or just have fun using words. I’m not sure how often I’ll post but I’ll try to at least once a week. And I’m even more uncertain where this journey will take me. Readers (wishful thinking) might learn a thing or two about me (even if they don’t want to but I’ll try to steer clear from TMI syndrome - that’s “Too Much Information” for those of you who are a little slow.) One thing I know for sure this is my playground. So grab a swing and join me. Here we go!